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I have a question for you-
How much you rate yourself as a Human being, as personality on basis of 10? 1 being lowest & 10 being the highest. Pause for a while. Do some calculation before zero down to something & write it on paper, no need to disclose it to me, we are doing some sort of self-assessment. Let me make few things clear. Here, I am not asking how you appear? How you are working? How much you earn? How society interprets you? What your parents, colleagues, Partner or people say about you? No, Not at all, keep all the views, comments or perception of other people aside for a while, I want you to score yourself very honestly. Think neutral about yourself, have an inner glance. I don’t expect any comparison or criticism about any point, there is no criteria to qualify or getting rejected, this is not a competitive exam, Keep it as a Neutral Test. I ask you how you see yourself through your own eyes & rate accordingly!
I always rate myself minimum 7 (or sometimes 8), I rate minus three in order to have scope for improvement & getting better in diverse fields of my personality. Okay, let’s get back to the point, if your score is less than 5 or something, you have lot work to do, you have to work on yourself & lift your self-esteem. If your score is between 5-7 , still you have work on evolving as better human being, if you are above 7 you are bit right on track, still there is a big scope for improvement, life is an endless journey we all must keep learning. The intent of this activity was how much worthy you are? How much worth your feel in your own eyes. See, if you have rated yourself less than 7, I have a suggestion for you. “Know your worth, Do not underestimate yourself, Never sale yourself short.” Never think you are nobody, always feel you are something & you count!
In order to take the discussion forward, let me ask you-
Are You Your First Choice? (I don’t know whether this statement is grammatically correct but it’s necessary to use here in this way)
There should not be any discussion over this point (since we have discussed this in the activity we did in beginning.) The answer has to be yes! You must be Your First choice!
No matter what! No matter what People think about you! No matter what people say about you! You have to prioritize yourself! There is no second opinion about this point!
I am not saying about being self-centred, or practice selfishness or egoism. The stand point of this discussion is about maintaining your self-respect, protecting your self-esteem & Pride. Not occasionally but in all situations. Not just in front of your enemies but with your peers, friends, and relatives. Because it’s not outsiders but insiders (family, friends, closed ones) hamper our self-esteem a lot by taking us granted & not caring about our values & morality. So, you got to be bit careful when dealing with insiders. You have to let them know that you are important, you count for something.
I have to say – Stop trying to make all people happy for all their demands if they do not fall in line with your values or morality. Turn them down if they are not valid or you are not feeling comfortable with it. You have to let them know somehow, sometimes upfront. There is no point in guessing, maintaining silence or giving signals about your discomfort. No one has time for you. Say it slowly, calmly but upfront. Stop hanging around with people who treat you as back up or source of need. Do not let someone use you as resource or as a helping hand. You are not Saint & trust me don’t even try to. I did try to be like one but all I got in return is despair. Do not allow people to think you as their secondary choice, for that you have to prioritize yourself & be your first choice. You have to show people that you are your first choice! You count, you are Important, they just cannot take you for granted!
Do not devaluate yourself for any person in your life, no matter how important, how qualified, how rich that person is! If He/she is not valuing your presence or existence, not respecting your feeling & values, there is no point in maintaining that relationship whether personal or professional. Whether he is your friend or your colleague. If He/she is not doing it now, it’s sure that he would never.
Do not trade your self-esteem to show goodness of your personality or preserve friendship or relations. You may feel good/okay right now but in long term you would be ashamed of yourself if you keep on continuing this way!
You must hang around or associate with people for whom you are their first priority or the only choice. You should never hang around with a person for whom you are his/her second, third or 10th choice. That’s uttermost nonsense & disrespect to your identity. Still, if you continue to be along with them for any reason that’s not humanity or friendship, it’s completely foolishness.
Don’t expect everybody to like you. You are not joker to make everyone happy! Are You? So, stop fooling around with people who keep you as an option.
You have to Ask/demand for respect & you must protect your self-esteem. You have to let them know if they are not treating you well, up to your standard. You have to let them know that you are your first choice, you count & they must treat you appropriately as a First choice!
You have to prioritize yourself first! Never allow anyone to treat you as a second choice!
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Written by Mahendra Kapady@2018, All Rights Reserved.