Welcome back to my blog 1Beginner!
Jump In! Make Mistakes! Fail Forward! Move Ahead! @ Mahendra Kapady.
What If I will Make A Mistake? That’s the question that holds most us back!
Today, I am going to share my viewpoint for Mistakes against a deadly thing I.e. mistakes Vs. Reasons! Contrary to society, I am highly in favour of mistakes because it’s my mistakes who helped me to reach at this point of wisdom, independence & to live a confident life but reasons (which are excuses in my terminology) always made me weak & numb. Mistakes gave me some trouble but they also made me strong, gave me the boost that I can do it next time, whereas excuses made me feel that I not gifted, I don’t have what it takes, I can’t do it!
M.K. Don’t Make Mistakes –
My parents used to say “Emm, Study the topic well, write the same answer what its shown here, do not change the track, don’t wander, don’t try anything new, stick to standards, and do not make mistakes.” I am sure you must have listened somewhat similar in your childhood! From the very childhood we have been taught, in fact, it’s been bombarded on us not to make mistakes! So, I followed that message for about 21 years of life. I made it as my default belief system i.e. Mistakes are Painful, and you got to avoid them at all costs. Every time when there is a possibility of failure – I either tried to run away or made an excuse or blame people around me. I am sure most us had thought or acted this way. We all, society thinks this way. Mistakes are not good! Why? Because it’s Embarrassing! It’s Painful! It Hurts! Isn’t that true?
Your Reasons Are Valid –
I strongly believe you somehow make any of the two. You cannot skip both in your life. You either make mistakes or you make Reasons! I need you to understand that I am not criticizing you for the reasons! Let me share my real life example- About 6 years prior I got enrolled into a top class business institute of Mumbai for Part-time MMS Certification course, I cracked in very first attempt where people usually spend years to get into the college. I was working at that time & I was travelling a lot for about 3.5 hours every day just to & fro i.e. from my office to home. I looked at my situation & I denied the course despite paying the fees. Why? Let me share.
I had Few Reasons with Me –
- 3 years degree is a long period, It’s going to be painful
- I have to travel a lot! It was about 35 km from my office, which takes 80-90 mins to be there.
- 75% attendance is mandatory!
- I have to leave from my office early for 30 mins 3 days every week, My Boss won’t allow me!
- It had full day classrooms on Saturday & Sunday, I was working on alternate Saturdays.
- I am smart enough that I don’t need MBA.
- A part-time degree has no value.
So, I quit the course. (By the way, I have no regrets that I do not have MBA degree) You know at the very moment all my reasons were valid. But today, when I looked at them, I feel they were the mere excuses of a 23-year-old Young boy. If I was mentored properly & if I had stretched myself, I could have gathered few ideas, met few friends-contacts, and could have got slightly better at that period. I admit I did not do MBA because I was reasonable. I could have made it if I could have taken control over my reasons by looking at future perspective than some discomfort.
See, I have to share the important part – Your Reasons Are Always Valid! Despite being valid it doesn’t help! So, what’s the point in relying on them? Why you are living with them? Your reasons may sympathize you but they do not help you! No One Is Going to Rescue You But You!
For example – You want to lose weight, so you have to join the gym but you can’t wake up the next day morning because you are tired. So, in this scenario the reason is absolutely valid that you are tired, so you can’t wake up. Still, I need you to emphasize on – does that reason help? You have two option- either to give up on that reasons of waking up early & hit the running floor or you continue living with that reason for the rest of the life(Which after a while termed as Excuse!) See, Reasons are always valid. Still, you got to take control on them before they take control of your life. Reasons are always going to be there. In order to be something, you got to be Unreasonable in your life. It’s you because of your inaction, unwillingness to take responsibility, you start using them (reasons) as an excuse. Why? To defend yourself! To protect yourself! To save your Face! If you do not work on the reasons after a while you start using that reason as the escape reason in the demanding situation. What these demanding situations are? They are new responsibilities which are nothing but golden opportunities. The excuse gets plagiarized in your personal, professional & social life & affect your future like hell.
So, work on your Reason before it becomes the excuse! Admit that you are not doing what you are supposed to do! Expose yourself! Confront your inaction! You got to be brave & brutally honest if You want to get rid of the Excuses! Stop using If, but & because. These words support your excuses. They help you to save your face today but they disfigure your tomorrow.
Work On Your Reasons Before They Becomes Excuses!
I would use excuses in reference of Reasons. See, Excuses are always valid but they do not help whereas mistakes Do! When you make Mistakes, how it feels? It’s Uneasy! It’s embarrassing! It’s painful! It hurts! But it helps. How? Let’s see.
See, Mistakes make you fall flat on your face but at least they help you fall forward, but excuses keep you stuck at same place. And if you are standing at the same place means you are going backwards in this fast-paced world.
Mistake Is Just Another Way – Mistakes are not actually mistakes, they are part of the process. It’s just another way that does not reach your goal, it’s the way that did not work. For people, Thomas Edison made 10000 mistakes before making the bulb but for him, it was 10000 ways the bulb cannot be discovered. Mistake a Standpoint to take a diversion not the halt. It’s a matter of perspective. Mistakes are standpoints for learning, they keep the ball rolling, they take you forward but Excuses are always excuses because they make you stuck, they paralyze you. They dis-empower you.
Mistakes make you realize what didn’t work out, excuses do not make you realize anything but regret, unexplainable Pain in a long time. You need to get away from the feeling of insult, embarrassment part of mistakes & focus on the gain. Nobody is gifted with courage! No one can face the bullets, wild animals, adversity, and difficult times by making excuses. If you choose the Right perspective of your mistakes, you can sharpen your personality. You can develop courage, strength, patience, persistence, Wisdom only when you have the right view to learn from your mistakes.
Mistakes keep the fire within you alive, Excuses let it settle to dust!@ M.K.
I do agree that stating reasons (making excuses) is okay! Why? it protects you, keeps you safe, it keeps the risk away. It keeps you comfortable, the way you are! If you are okay with the way you are. That’s okay make excuses but if you are not you got to make mistakes in order to be what you want to be? Mistakes is a step forward towards the Goal Whereas Excuse is a Step backward! Mistakes make you uneasy but they are much needed, they take your game forward by eliminating what didn’t work for in real life. Mistakes take you forward in real life, whereas excuses let you roam in the board room of mind, they restrict you to take action in real life. Mistakes with the intent of stretching & learning take your Forward in life!
Mistakes keep you alive with the hope of better, Excuses make you dead by blocking you into perfection. They make you wonder in favourable time, ample resources & perfect situations which never exist, which is nothing but fantasy. You grow only when you make mistakes & embrace failure as part of learning process.
When You Push Excuses Behind, Results Come Forward! @ Mahendra Kapady.
I am a man of My word! You would see me making mistakes, not excuses! I would rather live or making mistakes towards my dream rather than defending myself with excuses!
Remember When Jump In, You Make Mistakes, So You Fail Forward & You Move Ahead!
You Got To Make Mistakes! Not Excuses!
– Written by Mahendra Kapady@2019, All Rights Reserved.